For the first time in my life, I am attempting to lose weight. Maybe second...following a charade of a diet that lasted two weeks earlier this summer. After losing a riveting three pounds I went on a three month-long celebratory binge. So I'm pretty sure that doesn't count.
For anyone that knows me you will be well aware of my diet. Bordering on malnutrition, my day-to-day sustenance is comprised of crisps and potatoes. After all, that is what Padraig Pearse would have wanted. After recently discovering that Mr. Pearse, was not in fact a dietician, but an Irish rebel I am pretty disappointed that I sacrificed six inches of height and good skin for no reason.
Until now I have lived a rosy, guilt-free life. I filled my days with Supersize McDonald's meals and breakfasts of butter, up until the harrowing day when I was abandoned by my oldest friend, Mr. Metabolism. Like a comfort blanket, I clung onto him for dear life, but he was right, I took him for granted. So he left me. All alone and growing the wrong direction.
For weeks I waited by the phone. He never called.
But with the help of Whitney Houston and her inspirational words, I know I must face the world alone, sans my fried friends. With the self-control of a child or fat person, I will update my blog with how horrible my healthy lifestyle is, and hope that it will be an encouragement to achieve. Otherwise, I'll just lie about it...
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| Lettuce, the poor man's burger. |
Crash diets - the bane of my life. I've only done one and it was a juice fast. Oddly, I felt amazing after it but no weight was lost. I think it's probably best just to lose weight slowly - easier said than done though!
ReplyDeleteLooooove this post - you've a great writing style. You're probably better off going for a healthy eating plan as opposed to a crash diet though. They're not good for you and you'll put weight on twice as fast if you abandon it. Start doing a bit of exercise and eating less crappy food and more fruit, salads, vegetables, etc etc and you'll probably notice a difference and feel better. I'm no dietician either but it has worked for me :) If you have an iPhone there are some good apps you can get to log the food you eat and it tells you how much % of your RDI calorie allowance you've used. Not good if you're the type to get obsessed but handy to understand what foods are more fattening etc. Good luck! :)
ReplyDeleteLolaDee
www.loladee.com
Haha you're funny!.. You also sound like you're the exact same as me - crisps and potatoes, 3month long celebratory binges!
ReplyDeleteToday I've gone crazy with the scissors cutting out pictures of Rihanna for a get-slim inspiration board - instead of actually working on getting slim!
Lucy
x
Lettuce-the poor man's burger. Love it!! Seriously, best of luck with your diet. :)SarahD
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